I was once leading a class where we closely examined relationships and how we could make them happier. When discussing marital conflicts, I suggested to the women that we could not blame a partner for not doing something that did not even occur to them. My suggestion was met with loud protests. "That would mean we cannot blame them for anything!" said one lady. Another said, "Nothing I want ever even occurs to him. Am I not supposed to get upset by it?" It was alright to feel what one felt, I...